Saturday, February 15, 2014

It's The Same Hamburger

It's not that as if I'm a millionaire now that I can afford to shoutout the above. I was poor before to the extend that my bank accounts merely left 2 digits; with a 2 years old daughter to care for and being an underpaid single mother at the same time make it the worst nightmare I've ever had! I was lucky though (as always) that I've got the support from my family. They supported me as in monetary values & care for my daughter so that I can go to work. Still...I couldn't make enough to even pay for my own living. Credit cards are all behind in debts, every months don't even make enough to pay for the minimum amount due :(

Enough of the pathetic past about myself above...if you think I'm complaining, you got it all wrong!

You see, however pathetic it may seems like to you; I wasn't even the least bit despair. Ironically, I used to be happier compare to now. You may wonder why? 

Scenario: Blast from the Past
Negative: Behind in debts, have to save here and there for tomorrows. Cannot afford any luxuries; dream car/house/gadgets - all stay as just an unachievable dream.
Positive: Have plenty of time to spare. No stress at all. Wake up with no special mission, just work, sleep, eat, play. Can spare the time for family & friends because time is simply what I have (too much to spare).

Scenario: Now
Negative: Lack of time to spare for family & friends. No time to eat, usually I only eat once per day :( Lack of time to sleep & rest. Stress. Anxiety. Too much to do, too little time to do it all.
Positive: Can afford to spend on anything I want to buy. Can afford all the luxurious (but mind you no time to enjoy it). No debts. Gain people respect, even some takes me as an idol. Hahaha!

I always tell myself to set a target. A target which is not too hard for me to achieve so that I can get the best of both worlds. Whenever my oh-so-many-endless-target(s) was achieved, I keep on chasing for more. I admit I kinda brainwashed myself that I deserve more, thus the endless episodes of climbing the ladders. that's really the most pathetic part!

I started this post to document my vow to myself - that I will stop chasing further targets. I want to just maintain & gain back a life I deserve to live. I'm tired of being a working robot. After all, what are luxurious, when you have no time to enjoy it? Improving my bank accounts digits; if it doesn't improve the quality of my life...IT'S STILL THE SAME PIECE OF HAMBURGER!